Money Moves: Who’s Kicking Up Deals and Who’s Tripping Over Themselves?

Money Moves: Who’s Kicking Up Deals and Who’s Tripping Over Themselves?

March Edition

March has waltzed in, and while many of us are still grappling with our New Year’s resolutions, celebrities and athletes are making significant moves—some as graceful as a Charleston, others more like a misstep on the dance floor. From high-profile property sales to athletes expanding their real estate empires, let’s break down who’s leading the dance—and who’s just doing the sprinkler at a black-tie gala.

Celebrity Listings That Deserve Their Own Spin-Off

Amy Schumer’s “Thanks, Brooklyn, It’s Been Weird” Tour

Amy is listing her Brooklyn Heights townhouse for $14M and heading back to Manhattan to be closer to her son’s school. The 1829 brownstone is stunning—but let’s be real, the commute was probably killing her stand-up material.

Ellen DeGeneres Says ‘Bye, Felicia’ to American Real Estate

She and Portia just sold their final U.S. property—a Montecito bungalow—for $5.2M. They’re now full-time UK residents in the Cotswolds, living their best cottagecore life. Goodbye Hollywood, hello wellies and scones.

Kelly Bensimon’s Loft Exit

The former RHONY star is listing her SoHo loft for $8.995M. With her daughters out of the nest, she’s simplifying. The vibe? Less “apple in hand” and more “clean countertops and clarity.”

Gridlocks & Gated Communities: When NFL Stars Meet Property Drama

Jason Kelce’s Fence Dance: The Haverford Shuffle

Fresh off retirement, Kelce’s trying to enhance privacy on his $6M estate—but the neighbors are not here for it. Cue the passive-aggressive HOA meetings, stormwater concerns, and one very well-publicized fence.

Real Estate Rebounds: Athletes Who Bought the Block

Floyd, Manu & Vilma’s “Property Brothers: Athlete Edition”

These legends are turning pro again—this time in real estate:

• Floyd Mayweather Jr. is investing $100M into a $3B luxury rental portfolio.

• Manu Ginobili is co-developing a $337M mixed-use Miami-Dade complex, including a sports center.

• Jonathan Vilma is teaming with a local church to build 102 apartments in Palm Beach County.

If they weren’t champions before, they’re definitely landlords now.

Final Take: Step Ball Change or Flat-Out Faceplant?

March brought a flurry of power plays—celebrities downsizing, athletes diversifying, and a few zoning debates worthy of a reality TV contract. Whether they’re flipping mansions or flipping the script on what a post-retirement hustle looks like, one thing’s clear:

The rhythm is gonna get you—so you might as well dance smart.